All I Know Is I Am (Definitely) Not Home Yet


As I sit here on a couch (that isn't even mine) writing this post, I am amazed at how many transitions I have gone through in my lifetime.

I should say I am amazed at how many transitions God has brought me through because, honestly, I couldn't have made it through them without His strength.

Currently, I am working through my third transition in the past (almost) five months. In a flurry of all sorts of emotions I moved from Dakar to a small cabin in the woods, from that cabin to an RV, and now from the RV into our home church's parsonage.

Let me tell you, it has not been easy! Especially for me who is generally quite reluctant to change.

And everything still hangs in the balance for me because I know that a fourth/ semi-permanent transition lies ahead! My brain seems unwilling to let itself breathe because it just wants to be done with moving, so much so that it is fooling me into thinking that dorm life will be so much easier...

But really, who am I kidding? There are always going to be transitions in this life. They won't stop until we all get to Heaven, and have the chance to settle in to our eternal home with Jesus.

If I thought of life only in terms of transition, I'd be so overwhelmed. My mind and all of its energies would be focused on every move I would ever make in the future that it would completely forget to live in the present.

Quite honestly, I think we all can recall a time in our lives where we let ourselves think that way. A time where we let ourselves completely get swept up in a riptide of stress and anxiety about the future because it looked like our only option.

That uncomfortable riptide of stress and anxiety is always asking the question "what if?". And it is so dangerous because soon we forget who we really are in Christ by getting lost in all the things (good OR bad) that could be.

What if I settle into dorm life only to move into my own place after college? What if I settle into my own place but God calls me overseas again? What if I never get to go back overseas? Will my heart be at peace with that?

Questions like those above would forever be rattling around in our brains if we allowed ourselves to think of life only in terms of transition.

Questions like those above make me long even more for my eternal home in Heaven with Jesus. There wouldn't be the need to move ever again! Just the thought of that gives me hope.

Every move I have ever made in this life is like a bus stop or a potty break on this never ending journey. When I moved to France, that wasn't home. When I moved to Dakar, it became a home and I will always call it home in my heart, but it isn't my permanent home. When I came back to the US, where I am currently residing, it definitely isn't home!

The only place I will ever feel 100% at home is in Heaven with my Lord Jesus.

In the meantime, I can do my best to grow where God has replanted me. I might do it kicking and screaming all the way, but I'll grow.

My dear readers, I am setting a challenge for us. A goal, if you will. This life always has its ups and downs, but the God we serve is a constant God. He never changed back then, He never changes now, and He never will change in the future.

Cling to Jesus folks, and I say this for my own benefit too. Let Him be the consistency in your life. Don't try to hunt it down elsewhere.

As this post comes to a close, I'd like to leave some famous lyric from Building 429 with you.

 

Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing, but am I alive? I will keep searching for answers that aren't here to find

All I know is I'm not home yet This is not where I belong Take this world and give me Jesus This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea I have this blessed assurance holding me

All I know is I'm not home yet This is not where I belong Take this world and give me Jesus This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in you When the lights fade I wanna be found in you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Jason Roy

Where I Belong lyrics © Spirit Music Group, Essential Music Publishing