Learning to Be Generous Again - Written 08.28.21

Have you ever been in the middle of something for one reason only to be struck with energy for something else?

That's what tonight felt like for me.

I had a pretty productive day. I got all my homework done, did some cleaning in my dorm room to make space for my fish babies that will be introduced to the world tomorrow... it was a good day for me. I don't take my good days lightly and because of the happiness I felt, I thought it would be good to spend extra time in the Word.

After I finished my reading from 2 Samuel, I dusted off the devotional book that I have slowly been working my way through for the last year.

I wasn't ready for tonight's topic.

Day 85 of Annie F. Down's 100 Days to Brave talks about ways to be brave enough to be generous in sharing your home, and she illustrates her points by sharing the story of Bill, the first man she ever loved. Bill died in a car accident shortly after Annie met him, and she expressed sorrow at the fact that her dad had known Bill for longer.

"My parents welcomed Bill into our home. Again and again. They treated him like family. And you know what? We lost him. And hearts broke. (Pg 194, Downs, 100 Days to Brave)"

But after reading Annie's words, Daniel immediately came to mind.

Daniel didn't die in a car accident. Instead, he died from something we still don't understand or know what to call. And hearts broke then, too. I remember it. It was agonizing.

"But while Bill was on earth, we shared our home and our family with him. For many, home is a sanctuary. It's a place you go to retreat from a world that can be so harsh and so dark. And being generous with your home isn't easy. You might just want to be by yourself. You might not want to share your time. You might even be afraid you'll get attached and then lose the person you've welcomed, like we did with Bill. But brave people recognize they can use their home to love others with the love of Christ. Brave people are generous with their homes. Brave people share - even their sanctuaries - with others. (Pg 194 - 195, Downs, 100 Days to Brave)"

They say that time changes things and I do believe that God sometimes uses time like that, but I also think he uses time to teach us lessons.

Maybe, 6 years ago, I wasn't ready to learn this one. Maybe, 6 years ago, I wouldn't be so full of fear to be generous with my heart and home.

But, here I am, 6 years later, learning how to be generous again. It stings a bit, but mostly I'm just grateful that the God I serve is also a convicting God.

He knows our hearts so intimately, and he knew tonight was the night to teach me this lesson.


Taken July 16, 2015

Taken April 1, 2020

Taken August 29, 2021


Daniel, I still miss you every day, and sometimes it still hurts. But you're doing what you love and I'm so happy for you! Say hi to Jesus from me.

Always, je t'aime. <3